I cried for two days straight
That subject line…that was my reality this weekend. And in the spirit of being only authentic and vulnerable, I’m going to share why.
Friday was one of the worst days of my life.
Shortly after getting home from the gym around 8am I noticed my favorite cat, the
love of my life, Snacks, experiencing labored breathing. I rushed him to the vet where he declined very quickly. After an x-ray and watching his symptoms progress, it was determined that my sweet, perfect 3 year old cat was in heart failure.
They asked if when the moment came I wanted him on artificial respiration or euthanized. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My world was spinning. This creature that I love more than anything in the world was highly energetic then cuddly the night before. He was his normal perfect self and now this. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
He went through 3 rounds of diuretic injections, a lot of vomiting, and 6 hours of oxygen treatment, and to everyone’s surprise, he came home with me that day. The vet said that he presented the worst acute case of heart failure she’s seen in 20 years that an animal survived.
This is the beginning of our journey together. He’s seeing a cardiologist in a few weeks, and I can’t wait to hear his treatment plan.
I cried every moment we were at the vet, watching him struggle and suffer. I cried all
night and all day following thinking of losing him, as the long-term prognosis is grim. I cry writing this now. But he survived an episode he shouldn’t have, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he survives this as long as possible and has an amazing life in the process.
I’ve been giving him water through a syringe to make sure he gets enough and force feeding him. Slowly but surely, he’s feeling more like himself.
I know for a fact that he is the one thing that was truly placed in this world for me. The bond we have is unique in ways only people who have seen us interact understand. So, here’s to doing whatever it takes.
Today’s lesson is about giving yourself permission.
- Give yourself permission to feel what you feel without embarrassment.
- Give yourself permission to let go of life’s “priorities” and to-do lists when it feels like your world is crashing down.
- Give yourself permission not to feel guilty, like there was something else you should have done or seen coming (currently struggling with this one and am working at it).
- Give yourself permission to love yourself enough to take care of yourself in life’s toughest moments, no matter what that means for you.
I know many of you reading see the photos I constantly post of Snacks and get a sense of how special he is, so I will keep everyone posted.
I hope you can apply these lessons in some area of your life in those tough moments.
In the meantime, send Snacks some positive thoughts and healing energy! 🙂
Have a great week.